down to the earth, down to the hell

what is life? what is happy?
I keep asking these questions discussed since human exist.
when i see couples holding hands walking in the streets, when I see it raining like hell in the morning
in this city crowded with people, I cannot help staring at every face come aross me.
"is she happy?" "is he happy?" "how much misery or pains has this person borne but hidden?"

如往常牽動嘴角露出一個友善的微笑的動作
變的如此困難
凡擔勞苦重擔者來此我必使其安息
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
反覆唸著 卻沒有太大的幫助
where are you?
if this suffering is gonna to be an end, can anyone tell me when?

it comes again, every night I go to sleep and wish I would never wake up.
However, something keeps me here. I am alive because i have not died, yet.
我活著只是因為我還沒有死 i know it since my teens.
Life is a tricky thing. People fight for human rights for centuries. Step by step, we, regardless of sex, race, religion, gain rights of choices for many things - when to go, where to live, what to do.
But still life is something i cannot choose. "Have I ever said i want to be borne to this world? HAVE I?" Yukiho in Byakuyakou shouted for her misery.
I do not regret of being born. I have good time and I am already satisfied. In the contrast to Yukiho, it is what's going on which does not attract me at all.
Why cannot life be a simple switch? I can just turn it off since I am not interested, do not want to play it anymore. Sleep in peace forever, without feeling anything. Oh, how good it can be.