Crying baby

why can't I be a child anymore?
i never want to grow up. but have been forced so.

I feel sick and have some headache.
I cannot tell it to anyone. I used to tell mom, made a call and she would tell me, "oh, poor baby. Go to see a doctor. It's harsh to suffer so."

I know what she would say and how she would say. It's like the old games, lovely secrets belongs to us only.
Of course I know what to do. Of course I can do so. I just love it. To know I am loved and cared. But no more. since Mom is suffered more than i do. I have to be strong, but i just want to run, run away. To someplace no one suffers.