大千世界

When I was little, I was told you have to suffer to have happiness.
Nothing is important until you reach the goal.
You will be happy there, somewhere out there.
I don’t exactly know what it is. But it shall be quite nice.
So, bear with all the tears, hardships, loss, regrets, no complaining.
But who said so?
any guarantee?
There’s nothing there but emptiness. deadly silence.
Hello~~~ is it anyone here?
Yes, I am here, then?
Have I come to the wrong place?
Where is the PARADISE you promised?
is it a scam I got set up?

當我小時候，有人告訴我，吃苦才有幸褔。
中途的一切都不重要只要到達目標，然後你就可以如何如何，幸福快樂。
但是在我生命的某個途中，我發現我已經達成過去的我覺得應該要達成的這個那個，但是
幸福了，然後呢？
不停拿出標尺來檢查自己擁有的一切，你有這些，你快樂嗎？
答案怵目驚心，無法自圓其說。
some part in my heart broke and collapsed.

From the ashes of depression, I learned the new lessons from my hiking and review it, feel it every time I do hiking.
If you (I) do not enjoy the tough road on the way, do not see the view in front of me at the moment, you (I) may never enjoy it.
happiness never suddenly happens in the end but accumulated in every small step on the way.
幸福從來不是突如其來發生的，而是累積在每個小小的步伐之中
every step I take move me higher and further.
every small step counts.

抗拒帶來多少痛苦呢，人們為何總是心中有所期待，無法接受，世界卻不會因此改變分毫。
事物只是事物，他們沒有傷害我的能力，是大千世界的一部分，
it’s the resistance that scratches me deeply from inside.

i wish it shall be cooler.
but everything is the way it is. no more and no less.
山谷淙淙的小溪，嶙峋的奇石，坎坷的路面，穩定陪伴我的運動鞋，學習用肌肉不要用關節膝蓋磨耗施力，
just the way it is.

完州郡
we actually get somewhere in 全羅北道 / 全州 ＾＾
Daedunsan Provincial Park (Jeonbuk Section) (대둔산도립공원(전북)) Geumgang Gureumdari
Daedunsan in a misty day the waterfall looks dreamy in mist
Daedunsan hiking challenge 
A famous U.S. novelist, Jack Kerouac, once said, "Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain."
The Best Korean National Parks to Visit for Fall Foliage

I wish I can see the red leaves and snow peaks.
but let's see.
I am prepared with everything I need.

語言障礙

sometimes i just forget how old i am in this campus of eden.
university works merely as a temporary respite
still, the pressure of get into the job market lies ahead.

but here i came, i find that people see things in different ways
which fascinates me.
people came for different reasons with various expectations.
stay for 1 semester or 1 year
graduate or undergraduate
as an exchange student or a full-time degree seeking student
3 simple choices can make 8 combinations.

我想說語言啊，不是對譯那麼簡單，而是不同的語言間描述一件事的方式就差異很大。

the problem of mine is i want to express / think about / ponder / deliberate something beyond my English ability.
my knowledge base mostly resides in Chinese. i develop it, extend it, by renewing information in Chinese. also, i practice my english for the expression, grammar and vocabulary. quite often i made mistakes, and lost in translation.
簡單來說，就是我的腦太複雜了，想要表達太多太複雜的事情，言語跟不上。
這麼一想，好像就釋懷許多。
先想想自己到底想表達什麼，然後試著找出英語的表現說出來，這個過程既費時，干擾和雜訊，傳輸上有許多error，inefficient and struggling, but that's the way i try to communicate with people, to have mutual understanding.

fraud of the century

有誰告訴過你那是一場騙局(scam, fraud)嗎？
讀好書
去好學校
what is a good school? or, a good degree?
找個好工作
結婚生子
it's all damn fake as hell
but when you are inside, it's so true that you can never doubt it.

為什麼在年輕時充滿夢想
以為自己的人生會如童話般完好
然後讀這些心靈雞湯
講些似是而非的話
得到一點寬慰
送給30歲的自己一封信：你不用功成名就、找到高富帥，拋下一切目標你會活得更好
goals are to achieve, or to give up on.

不只有高顏值-你所不知的演藝圈高材生
演藝圈，和其他許多圈圈和世界一樣
學歷都不是唯一解答吧

for me, what can be felt the most exactly is the craving for 辣豆腐湯飯 순두부찌개 now.
the craving for fresh baked hot butter toast
（原來是純豆腐鍋的意思～台灣都叫辣豆腐湯飯）

愛是互相扶持，一起努力，無所畏懼。
live with fear, but love is even bigger.
溫暖的文字可以打動人心，帶來奇蹟
 

韓國史遠足

東亞史的血淚斑斑
中日韓俄的身影交錯
跳一支恐怖平衡的舞
在這樣貧瘠多山的土地和夏熱冬寒的嚴苛氣候
大國環伺間如何生存下來
反覆的入侵殖民和爭鬥
親睦母國文化的心嚮往之和自我主體性的維持
在無數前人的努力之下
今日誰都無法忽略Korea的存在

與其說著些自我喪氣的話 於無法改變的事實上自我放逐
不如想辦法在值得努力的地方好好努力

人類啊人類
幾世紀來的血淚
殖民主義盛行的19, 20世紀到今日的21世紀
強凌弱的局面未曾改變但是更加細微隱致地
人類，從自體，到家族，到社群，到民族，到國家
what do you identify with?
堅持不已甚至願意犧牲一己生命的信念是什麼？
不能自己幸福快樂就好了嗎
為了更多的 看不見的同胞們
在社會民族激烈動盪的20世紀以怎麼樣的姿態活著

「為了恢復韓國的獨立，維護東洋和平，我在海外風餐露宿三年，壯志未酬竟死在這裡。我們二千萬兄弟姐妹們，要各自奮發，提高文化，振興實業，前仆後繼，恢復祖國的獨立，我便死而無憾。」安重根義士
恐怖與暗殺活動不可取
但是軍國主義的鐵蹄下是否少數能做到的反抗途徑像是如此

在八大動力中
自己，家庭，團體，人類族群，動植物，物質宇宙，靈魂
怎麼樣做最多動力的選擇呢

As it is

i do envy if i don’t get the most valued item. but actually i got the best for me.
what i need most, is not what i want most.  
i may rationalize it. but i am the only one who matters to make the judgement about my life.

no need to afraid. you are here to experience “life” as a human being. 
當一切都在空中飛舞的時候，或許會覺得難以掌控，但盡可能地抓住一角後，其他物體就有了座標。

i do learn things which i didn’t know and enjoy some parts of the environment as i expected before.   
like the cool night, the trees and the campus. 

be grateful for what i got in my life, for the people around me.
with all my love.

相關何處

今天是跑來跑去又曬死的一天

變黑只需要一天

日夜溫差大四季分明極與極的溫帶國家

並非出來玩耍

沒有玩耍的心情

積極面對人生的方法：

「並非總是想著效益評估而不做（x）

卻是讓付出的時間和力氣優化壯大（o）」

地球轉啊轉的

常常會忘記自己的年齡

我要去哪裡呢

會不會有天崩壞呢

這樣的恐懼會拖著自己

懶懶睡起來的早晨不知身在何方

我是誰 在哪裡 做什麼

反覆詢問著

答案卻有時讓我驚恐

曾見過的那些人們啊

現在過著怎樣的生活

再次相遇時能認出彼此嗎

歐洲人的生活習性 和歐洲人共同生活的記憶

恍如隔世

在此生活在眼前呼喚著台灣的影像紀錄

身在此地

家在彼方

一些感到安好的 

一些感到煩躁的

i miss u
but there’s (always) something between us
how can we cross the bridge and hold hand in hand

hey… i’ve generally come to a feeling that
it’s not about what i do, but about who i am, was and will be
there’s no certain mission i “should” do.
but just be there. i have to be here. to fit this place. to be with someone. to be ME.

獨一無二的
我 

做每一個選擇
踏出每一個步伐
成為真正的自己

語言迷宮

每當在國外生活，就陷入語言迷宮。
失落了語言，找不到出口，卻要不停解釋自己是誰，所來為何，將做什麼。
這句話如何用中文/英文/韓文表達，高高的一彎月亮。
be foreign and alone.