Tuesday, January 27, 2026

Introduction to Myself

Introduction to Myself

I rename this document Introduction to Myself.
It is not only a self-introduction, but an introduction to myself—
for myself, and made by myself.

Gradually, step by step, I come to understand myself more.
This is not a sudden change,
but a slow sedimentation over years.

When I look back, my view grows deeper and broader.
I see from more layers, more aspects, more perspectives,
and truths begin to unfold.

Why did I make those choices?
Why did I terminate and leave,
making a sharp rupture in my own heart and in others’,
yet remain cold-bloodedly determined?

What did I lose?

And at the same time,
how did those choices support me—
mentally, physically, financially?

How did they also drive me to madness,
and how did they wound me?

These tangled thoughts,
slowly combed through and set into motion,
turn into relief,
and into a deep reconciliation with myself.

Yes. I recognize you.
I reconcile with you.
And now, you may live with me.

This is a supreme freedom—
calm, gentle, and profoundly comfortable.

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春夜

你的眼神,明暗交雜,一笑成花。 是的我曾經見過這樣的世界,在北京的深夜,我們坐著計程車經過天安門廣場,那個紅色的光影和遠遠的毛澤東像,映照在車窗上,街燈閃爍,投影在你慵懶/疲倦/若有所思的臉上。 在很多年之後的今天,我忽然想起這個場景,或許從未逝去,只是沒有想起。弔詭的是,我甚至...